**WARNING**
(contains adult content, j/k but might not want to read)
I figured I better write down some feelings and thoughts about this time in my life so when I want to take 2 foster kids again, have a child break his leg and be in a body cast, have a husband in a demanding calling, buy and sell a house, I might want to rethink it. Things are better today and seem to get a little better each day. Last weekend was rough, to say the least. I was ready to give up and be done. I felt like I was failing miserably at these tests. I know the Lord is testing me and my family and it wasn't going well. In my parent's ward their high councilor talked about enjoying the journey, man I sure was (and am) having a hard time with that. That made me feel even worse about everything, I knew I needed to do better. Last Sunday was the worst. I had a terrible day (you know those days when you know you just need to make up your mind and get happy and get over it because it's a choice but thats the last thing you want to do and you just want to sulk and be grumpy, anyway it was that kind of day). Thank heavens for an amazing husband. I was having such a hard time with Luke and he just told me to go enjoy my family and he would deal with him for the rest of the day. He did it. What an amazing man!!! We talked all the way home about what was going on and we needed to do. Then we prayed really hard (and any time I think about it all day long) and went to bed.
I was worried about Monday. Lexi and Isaiah were coming back and they seem to have a harder day on the day they come back. But thank heavens for friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tara asked if she could come hang out and I said, "heck yes!" so they came over after lunch and we let the kids play and we just talked and talked. Then Erika showed up around 3 and we made the kids stay in the front or backyard and we just talked and talked some more. What great therapy that is. I felt so much better on Monday it was ridiculous. Thanks so much guys (I guess really gals). Yesterday I took the kids to Dierkes with Tara and Erika and their kids and got some more energy out. Today we kept busy too. Thanks Kristen for watching the kids.
It's amazing what each day makes and thanks so much to my Heavenly Father for helping me. It needs more work, but one day at a time and I hope I can keep this perspective.
(contains adult content, j/k but might not want to read)
I figured I better write down some feelings and thoughts about this time in my life so when I want to take 2 foster kids again, have a child break his leg and be in a body cast, have a husband in a demanding calling, buy and sell a house, I might want to rethink it. Things are better today and seem to get a little better each day. Last weekend was rough, to say the least. I was ready to give up and be done. I felt like I was failing miserably at these tests. I know the Lord is testing me and my family and it wasn't going well. In my parent's ward their high councilor talked about enjoying the journey, man I sure was (and am) having a hard time with that. That made me feel even worse about everything, I knew I needed to do better. Last Sunday was the worst. I had a terrible day (you know those days when you know you just need to make up your mind and get happy and get over it because it's a choice but thats the last thing you want to do and you just want to sulk and be grumpy, anyway it was that kind of day). Thank heavens for an amazing husband. I was having such a hard time with Luke and he just told me to go enjoy my family and he would deal with him for the rest of the day. He did it. What an amazing man!!! We talked all the way home about what was going on and we needed to do. Then we prayed really hard (and any time I think about it all day long) and went to bed.
I was worried about Monday. Lexi and Isaiah were coming back and they seem to have a harder day on the day they come back. But thank heavens for friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tara asked if she could come hang out and I said, "heck yes!" so they came over after lunch and we let the kids play and we just talked and talked. Then Erika showed up around 3 and we made the kids stay in the front or backyard and we just talked and talked some more. What great therapy that is. I felt so much better on Monday it was ridiculous. Thanks so much guys (I guess really gals). Yesterday I took the kids to Dierkes with Tara and Erika and their kids and got some more energy out. Today we kept busy too. Thanks Kristen for watching the kids.
It's amazing what each day makes and thanks so much to my Heavenly Father for helping me. It needs more work, but one day at a time and I hope I can keep this perspective.
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